Her name is Mary. No middle name, just Mary. Her grandkids and great grandkids call her Mema and her nieces and nephews call her Nanny. My sister, Gayle, calls her Mother. My brother, Barry, calls her Momma. I call her Momma most of the time, but also Mom, Mother, Maa, and…..as so many people who have come and gone….. I call her my friend.

No matter what name people call her, she is a bright spot in our lives. When people tell me that I am so much like her, it makes me so happy! She decided a long time ago that she was NOT going to be a grumpy old person and would be a fun grandma. Her grandkids can attest to that! She loves to laugh, and has the gift of being able to laugh at herself. She’s not perfect, but she never pretends to be. She taught me to be a good mother, love life, and, most importantly, to love our Lord.

The beginning of November, Mom lived alone, drove herself around town, and talked to me on FaceTime every single day, as we had done for many years. We talked on the phone every day before that, for at least 30 years. Four short months later, she is in hospice care, totally non responsive with a gastric tube in place. During those four months, she has been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, had a compression fracture in her back, a hairline fracture in her hip, broken the top of her left leg, gotten blood clots in her left leg, had a stroke affecting her right side and possibly her vision, and has had numerous seizures. I felt as though I was losing my mother in pieces. And until the past week, I lived in this fantasy world where I thought she would rally……she would sit up, smile, chat with us all. And start calling me on FaceTime again. I’ve always said I am an optimist to a fault. That ‘to a fault’ part is smacking me in the face.

But, to end on an optimistic note (of course!), although I am a wreck at times these days, my mother has had very few moments of discomfort. And, as He has shown during numerous catastrophic times in my life, God will get me….as well as my dear mother, Momma and friend…..through this.