Soon, it will be six months since Kenn died.  It’s still so surreal to me.  How can you be so full of life one minute and gone the next?!  I would be lying if I said I’ve got it all together at this point.  But most of the time, it is becoming a bit more bearable. One of the many difficult things is the loneliness.

A friend recently posted on Facebook something like this…

The hardest part of losing someone you love, is finding the part of you they took with them.

I read it wrong the first few times.  I thought it meant ‘finding the YOU that was left behind when you became a THEM’.  I really really liked being a ‘them’.  I know a lot of people who are loners.  I am not one of them.  I do like my alone time, though. But the alone time I like is first thing in the morning.  I get up, make a cup of hot tea, and read my Bible and spend some time in prayer.  But the ‘alone time’ I liked was Kenn puttering in his study or playing with his trains.  That was alone enough for me!

The silence is deafening at times.  Our house was so full of life and laughter.  I love having company over. But sometimes, after they leave, the echoes in the house of putting away dishes, taking off my shoes, the ticking clock….any noises in the house are that much more noticeable.  I don’t watch a lot of TV.  But, I must admit, my phone and IPad are glued to me at all times.  My iPad is my source for so many things.  On it, is my Bible, my Kindle, news sources, shopping, banking, word, number, and card games, weather info, etc.  The TV would make some noise for the house, though.  Hmm.  Anyway, I’m almost always alone, and a lot of that time, lonely.  I am understanding more and more why men tend to ‘jump the gun’ when finding someone new after their loss.  Women tend to have more girl friends than men have guy friends.  I don’t know what I would do without my friends….I thank God daily for them.

On the issue of finding someone new….as most know, Kenn and I met on Christian Mingle.  I was wondering if it even still existed, as I haven’t seen or heard any advertisements for it like I did ‘back when’.  I decided to take a look and, yes, it’s there.  Now I’m not ready to date (don’t know if I ever will be, in fact) so I looked at it with a fake name and no picture.  And, it lets you read people’s profiles and see a person’s main picture without paying.  (You have to pay to see their secondary pictures or contact someone which I didn’t want to do.)  One person’s profile did make me laugh, though.  He said he ‘had no tattoos, no piercings, and all his own teeth’.  (Am I old or what?!) Then it asks where you see yourself in five years.  He said, ‘Where He leads me, I will follow.  What He feeds me, I will swallow’.😁 (I couldn’t help but wonder what a man would think if he saw that on a woman’s profile!).

Another thing I noticed, is a lot of men need a woman’s help getting a picture of themselves on the site.  The main picture you put on there is to show exactly what you look like.  I want to show some examples of what I am talking about.  Now, mind you, these may be perfectly wonderful gentlemen, and I truly hope they find someone as wonderful as I did. But their main picture…..well….I didn’t edit these….

Yep, that’s his main pic!  Do ladies respond, “Hi!  Saw your pic but….Uh, are you the hat or the nose???”

I think this next one might be in the witness protection program….

There were a lot of pics from the eyes—and sometimes the eyebrows—up!

And then, the last one I’m sharing….

I guess she could respond, “Hi!  You have a very nice ear….”

ANYway…..if anyone out there chooses to get on a dating site, run your profile—and especially pictures—you plan on posting by a friend and see if they approve!