As I come to the close of my fourth month on my new adventure, I am still experiencing a lot of firsts.  Today, as I write this post, I am sitting by the apartment pool for the first time.  It’s a beautiful day today in Murfreesboro, so I decided to buy me a grilled chicken wrap, a large unsweet tea, and venture outside my walls to enjoy the outdoors.  There are some shade cabana-like  structures by the pool so, having had a melanoma, I chose one of those to sit under to have my lunch.  As I look around, I realize I am sitting amongst all these tan, slim, young bodies.  Almost all of them are in bikinis–and look great in them, I might add–and are soaking up the rays.  I, on the other hand, I am sitting in the shade, with denim capris, a gray pullover, and Skechers on.  And the only ‘tan’ I have are the streaks on the back of my legs from the sunless tanning cream I tried to apply.  I notice I am the only one eating.  But what I didn’t notice was the wrap dribbling all over my shirt.  Then I drank some tea, and wouldn’t you know I spilled it all over my shirt, too!  And here’s the kicker.  I am house hunting these days and found a great potential yesterday.  It isn’t near finished, but I drove out there this morning.  While wandering around inside, I wanted to see how deep the master bath’s tub was, so I sat down in it.  Now I have plaster dust all over my backside.  It’s going to be fun walking out of this pool area.  I plan on holding my head up high and tell all the horrified gawkers “Just wait!  Age is coming for you, too!”

Another first is this solo house buying expedition.  I recently sold two homes all on my own but that seemed easier than this.  While it’s fun to look, I just hope and pray I make the right decision!

I also had my first bad experience driving my pups home from Atlanta.  They have always been such good travelers, but not this past time!  They kinda had a decent excuse though–they had been at their hotel for a month.  I picked them up and dropped them at the groomers, then grabbed them after their haircuts and started our 3 1/2 hour drive home.  To his credit, Casey just stayed in the backseat, smiling and wagging.  But Krystal, on the other hand, stood in the passenger seat with her front feet on the console asking, “Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?……..”  I stopped once in a Kroger parking lot and walked them around, then again at a rest area, hoping to tire them a bit.  But Krystal kept up her questions until about 20 minutes from home.  Once we got home, I realized her hearing is on the way out.  She’s almost 14 years old.  So I have to talk very loudly for her to hear me.  Need I remind you I live in an apartment?!

The last ‘first’ that happened recently involved my friend Matthew.  He turned 13 a couple of weeks ago, and I was trying to figure out what to get him for his birthday.  Being special needs, he mostly just wants to be like everyone else.  So I bought him his first cell phone.  I programmed in my number and his mom’s number.  He called me three times while I was making the 15 minute drive home from his house, seven times the next day during my 15 minute call with my sister, and oh, about 20 times the following evening.  And it didn’t bother me one bit because thankfully, he doesn’t get upset when I don’t answer.  He just tries again…repeatedly…  =)

It is getting more and more crowded here.  I think I may just sit here until the pool closes in about ten hours.

Yesterday, I met my new neighbors.  Very nice people.  Her name is Mary Ellen.  His name is Rusty.  Rusty Coffin.  I looked at him and said, “Now why did your momma do that to you?”  He just grinned and said, “I guess she had a sense of humor!”

Since I met them, I’ve been thinking about names.  Some of them can’t be helped, as in the case of my dear friend–a preacher’s wife mind you–named Pamela Anderson.  She married into that one.  But then there are the Rustys in the world.  His parents did that to him.  As I grew up in Orange, Texas, I always heard about the Hogg family who named their daughters Ima and Ura.  I think that may have been a joke, but there was a Hogg family there and it was Orange, Texas, so who knows.  Vickie’s mom (both Vickie and her mom are friends here in Murfreesboro) was named Betty White when she was born.  But, of course, her name changed when she got married.  Then her name was Betty Davis.  

When I was bouncing names around while I was expecting my boys, I tried to think of any nicknames that could arise out of each name considered.  I liked the names Brendan and Brandon, but Jonathan’s dad was afraid he would be called Brenda or Brandy.  So those names got nixed.  Ryan picked the name for Krystal, because he wanted his daughter to be named that.  Well, that took care of that…..you don’t name your child after a family dog.  I wanted Casey’s name to have a K sound.  I thought about Cooper, but was afraid there would be confusion in the house when I called for him.  Would Goober come running?  As most of you know, my former husband has the lovely name of Paul, but everyone in Orange, Texas called him Goober.  I can now call him Paul, but when I met him, he was introduced to me by that name and I figured he was like Goober Pyle.  But nothing was further from the truth. He was and is a brilliant intellect.  And I don’t know if it was an omen or if we were made for each other, but we rarely carved our initials in trees while we were dating.  You see, my maiden name is McKenzie.  PP + BM seemed right up there with Ima Hogg.

UPDATE ALERT!
I just got off the phone with my mom and there WAS an Ima Hogg! She isn’t sure about Ura. Wow……

When my oldest son, Jonathan, was about 13 years old, he fell off a skateboard and hit his head.  When he came in the house and told me what had happened, I cleaned up his scrapes and wondered if his nose was broken.  There were no places that needed to be stitched and he didn’t seem to be in too much pain, so after a little mother’s TLC, I went back to reading my book.  After about five minutes, he told me he could barely remember falling.  I told him that was normal after an accident.  About five or ten minutes later, he came to me and asked what happened to him.  “Well you told me you fell off your skateboard but I didn’t see you fall.”  Five minutes later, here he comes again.  “Mom, what happened to me?”  “Jonathan, you said you fell off your skateboard, remember?”  Five minutes later, repeat.  “What did I JUST tell you??!!!” I said in exasperation!  He gave me a blank look.  Then I noticed he looked, what my mom calls, peak’d.  A little pale, glassy eyed…you know.  After a call to his doctor, we took him to the ER and he was admitted with a severe concussion, a broken nose, and amnesia.  He had a weird type of amnesia.  He would ask the same question over and over and….  He couldn’t remember from one moment to the next.  It was funny sometimes….he squeezed my hand in pain until the blood drained out of it while the nurse missed his veins trying to get an IV in, then five minutes later, looked down and said nonchalantly, “Hm.  I’ve got an IV….glad they put it in while I was asleep!”  But, after we knew he would be OK, it was mostly exasperating.  My goodness!  The same questions over and over and over…..

The following post is on the website of my son, Jonathan.  It’s web address is yesifproductions.com in case you are interested.

Moving has so many facets.  There’s the hard work–sorting, packing, tossing–made even harder when you do it one-armed and not lifting anything over five pounds.  There’s the organizing–moving sale, arranging charity pick up after sale, junk haul away, and movers to bring what is left to storage unit.  Making sure there is enough space in storage unit!  But the most prominent part of moving for me has been the memories.  

Cue Barbra Streisand’s song ‘Memories‘. 

I remember moving into what felt like a mansion almost 23 years ago, with a two-year old and a twelve-year-old in tow.  I remember Ryan ‘swimming’ in my jacuzzi tub before our pool was installed.  I also remember waking up almost every night seeing him standing at our bedroom door, all his blankets in tow, asking if he could crawl in bed with us.  He always looked like he was carrying a pile of laundry!  I remember bringing Ryan to his bathroom and telling him which sink was his.  He looked in wonderment and said, “Oh Mommy!  I never thought I would ever own my own sink!”  I remember our house being filled with children from the neighborhood almost daily because that is where they all wanted to be.  I liked that.  I remember having ‘home church’ due to an ice storm closing down most of Atlanta one Sunday and Ryan, four years old at the time, being thrilled to get to serve us the Lord’s Supper.  He was very serious and somber.  His prayer for the cup was “Dear Lord, please help us not spill this grape juice on the carpet.  In Jesus’ name, Amen”.  I remember listening with pride as both boys played their guitars a little too loudly.  But both played so well!  I remember watching Jonathan and Ryan play pool hockey.  They would both float around on blow up rings, tubing style, and take a beach ball and hit it with pool noodles, those foam cylinders you can buy at any drugstore.  One of them would have to make the ball hit the diving board, the other had to hit the handrail at the shallow end.  There was so much laughter!  I remember Christmas mornings, coming downstairs to see what Santa left.  Jonathan was more excited than Ryan, and had a much harder time letting go of Santa!  I remember long, late night talks with Jonathan.  He wasn’t a big sharer…..unless it was after midnight.  Then, all I would do was smile and nod as he spilled his guts.  One night, I remember him stopping mid sentence about an hour into one of our ‘talks’, and he said “Mom!  How do you do that?!  You got me to tell you EVERYthing”!  “Oh Hon”, I said.  “I just have to wait until I can barely keep my eyes open.”  I remember sitting in the middle of the upstairs hallway with Ryan, talking for over two hours about a new girl he had met, health issues, college, etc.  I remember the boys getting ready for their proms….and their wedding days.  I remember…..

As this chapter of my life truly comes to a close, it is with bittersweet emotions that I will leave my home for the last time on May 13th.  As Jonathan said, “Mom, it’s just a house.  We are all moving forward in life….and you will still have your memories.” He is so wise sometimes!

The new owners have already written me a note, telling me how much they love the house and are looking forward to raising their seven-year old son and one year old daughter there.  It makes me happy to know new memories will be made in the home I loved so much!

Yesterday was a big day for me! I got my new pacemaker/defibrillator installed. Surgery was at 8 AM (had to arrive at hospital at 6 AM Yuck!) and all went well. I was back home at Judy’s house around noon. Today, I am sore, of course, but can breathe again yay! And, best of all, no alarms coming from my chest at midnight!

My discharge instructions were as follows:
No driving for a week. check
Keep incision dry for five days. check
No lifting over five pounds and no raising left arm over shoulder height for three weeks. UH OH!!!!!!!!
The closing on my Roswell house is scheduled for May 13th. I am having a moving sale next weekend and have to get the house empty by May 8th so I can get it clean and buyers can have their final walk through three days before closing. This will be a tad tricky!

I named my last pacemaker Beldar. I felt like I had an alien in my chest — it kinda protrudes a bit — and that seemed like a good alien sounding name. But Beldar has passed on and I now need a new name for my new friend. I would greatly appreciate suggestions!

In the meantime, I am enjoying getting to know my new little friend who helps me walk up stairs, inclined walkways, etc. He/she helps my heart kinda like a seeing eye dog helps a blind person. Maybe Rover would be a good name!

I had a very eventful week last week.

Monday, April 8th.  Today, I brought Krystal and Casey to their new home away from home, Safari Pet Resort.  I decided to pay for a group playtime each day.  I decided against the room with their own TV and the tuck in, bedtime story.  Yes, those are actual options.  Next, I packed up and headed to Georgia.

Tuesday, April 9th.  I made final preparations on my house in Roswell today, readying it for the market.  I bought flats of flowers to plant in the yard, met with my handyman, had all the windows cleaned, and took a tour of houses in my area with my real estate agent to see my competition.  Tonight, I got to visit with old and new friends at a dinner for two groups of Oasis members, a support group for people going through divorce.

Wednesday, April 10th.  So many important things happened on this day.  It’s Casey’s 9th birthday.  The yard was mulched and tidied.  The house was cleaned from baseboards to ceiling, and everything in between.  I signed papers for house to be listed on Thursday.  And most importantly, I went to the cardiologist and they turned off my internal alarm clock.  No more 7 AM daily wake up calls from my chest!  Surgery is scheduled for April 24th.

Thursday, April 11th.  My home for over 22 years, now just a house, was put up for sale.  Bobby, my real estate agent, called me at 8:30 AM, to tell me a showing was scheduled while he was uploading info.  In the afternoon, Judy, my dear friend, and I headed to her doctor’s office to begin a new chemotherapy treatment.  She is so strong!  Praying this one works well.

MIDNIGHT.  Beedeebeedeebeedee….and so on….my chest is calling again!  Are you kidding me?!  I would rather go back to the 7AM wake up call!

Friday, April 12th.  The plan was to get on the road around noon, so I went to Home Depot in the morning and bought several baskets of flowers to put ‘jewels’ in the yard for the open house scheduled for Saturday.  I got back to Judy’s house and got a call from Bobby–I had an offer for the house and another one was coming. What???  OK, now I needed to plan a counter offer. After prayer and thinking, I mentally prepared my response.  Before I contacted Bobby, he called with the second offer–full price.  Wow!  As my friend, Ginny, said, this had God written all over it!  I didn’t make it back to Tennessee until after 10 PM.  

Now, my tiny apartment patio is filled with the ‘jewels’ from my non-existent open house.  Oh, and the best thing…..I am now in Central Time Zone, so my nightly alarm is at 11PM instead of midnight.  Come on April 24!

As a newly single 50 something year old, it can be quite hard finding single men.  I decided to give online dating a go.  The men I have met in person have been wonderful, and although I haven’t met anyone that a potential relationship will develop, I’ve made some friends.  One friend is now engaged to a woman he met through one of the dating websites, and I was cheering him along the whole way!  

There have been some interesting profiles of people I haven’t met.  On a Christian site, one guy put a “prayer test” in his profile.  He asked women who were interested in him to read certain Bible passages, pray, and ask God to tell them a special thing, a “secret code” if you will, and get back to him, so he will know that woman is God’s choosing.  It was very detailed.  Several guys tell you how handsome they are.  Well, there’s a picture right there.  Don’t they think we women can decide that for ourselves?  And what is it about men and their hair?  On these sites, you describe yourself.  Invariably, guys will say “brown hair” or “black hair” when in their pictures, it is clearly gray.  When they look in a mirror, do they just see what it used to look like?  Besides describing yourself, you can also describe who you would be interested in, as in age, ethnicity, etc.   One guy wrote right at the beginning of his profile “if you have ever dated or married anyone a different color than me, pass me by.”  Really?  Really???  So far, I haven’t, but I passed him by.

The two most interesting ones I’ve seen were not on a Christian site.  One was a woman’s profile…..or at least I THOUGHT it was.  Turned out to be a cross-dressing heterosexual man looking for a woman who would be accepting.  He posted a picture of himself dressed as a man and another as a woman.  

The other one read as follows: (names have been changed)
I have been by myself /divorced for 8 years. Ex-wife (Jane Smith) had an on-going affair with John Doe  (married), and several other married men, thus the reason for the divorce in 2004. I have no bitterness or anger at all. I am ready to “start over” with someone special. 

 Court document speaks for itself. My ex-wife and Joe Jones’ ex-wife were BOTH having affairs at the SAME TIME with John Doe as court documents show, then he had another affair with Marge Simpson while she was married too!! Click on link to read....

And it gives a link to a website.  I think I detect a slight hint of bitterness and/or anger there!

 And lastly, at least 75% of guys 50 – 60 years old have motorcycles.  What’s with that?!  Now honestly, can you see me hanging on for dear life on the back of a motorcycle?!  If anyone reading this is a man thinking about doing online dating, let a woman proofread your profile.  Grammar and spelling matter.  It’s a ‘quiet’ evening, not a ‘quite’ evening.  And you ‘sit’ in front of a fire, not ‘set’ in front of it.  Oh, and guys, look in a mirror.  It really is OK to have gray hair!