Seven years.  It’s been seven years since I started this blog.  I just finished rereading most of my posts over the years and I am amazed at how many incredible highs and devastating lows I have experienced in that time.  And at the beginning of this journey, I had no idea what my future looked like.  I just knew that God would guide me.

I am just finishing a three-month-long trip.  I have put over 7000 miles—7689 to be exact— on my new car, going to Florida for two months, driving to Texas at the beginning and end of that time.  I flew to Texas twice and Ohio once during those months, drove to Biloxi once, and I ended the trip with a week in North Myrtle Beach beside the ocean.  I was supposed to spend a month there, but had to cut it short.  I’ve been waiting for a puppy since September and I was finally able to pick her up yesterday!  McKennzie (combined my maiden name with two ‘N’s for Kenn) will be very good company for me!

Over the past three months, I’ve had a lot of time to pray, think and reflect.  I thought, these past few years, that my purpose was to be here for Kenn, as he would need me when we both had no idea that need would arise.    And maybe that was part of it.  But, on looking back, I needed him so much more.  He got me through some very tough losses.  And he showed me a love that I will never forget—in our short time together, we truly had an epic love story!  I will be forever grateful that God brought him into my life.

I’ve joined two online groups for widows.  And they seem to be polar opposites in their purpose.  One is for people to just get stuff off their chests, tell their stories, how they feel, etc.  The other is to learn to move forward from your grief, not wallow in your past, and learn to live a joyful life.  I just read others’ posts, and rarely (if ever!) post anything. But as much as I empathize with some of the ladies’ stories, I truly want to move forward and live a life with joy and purpose!  Kenn would want me to, as I would have wanted the same for him. Unless there is divine intervention, I have decided to stay put in LaFollette.  The house is paid for, it’s not too expensive of place to live, and I’ve made some dear friends here.

And as for my purpose, God only knows!  I have asked Him to lead me.  And if I’m not paying attention, either whop me up side the head, or just grab me and drag me where He wants me to go!  In the meantime, I have a puppy chewing on everything in site to tend to!